here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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