So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
