You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize