You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
