i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
