Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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