im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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