these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
