i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
