I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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