I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
