I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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