I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize