I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dicks are not precious.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
