I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didn't notice because vodka
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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