There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
