How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
