She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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