what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize