final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I deserve this hangover.
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