Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize
