You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
