Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
