i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
