she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
