Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
