he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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