i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
