so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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