so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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