Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
