Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
