Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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