You're a womanizer and a bitch.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She announced her abortion via fbk
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
