Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
