just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
