Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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