Will you blow on my dice?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
