Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
