Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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