Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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