woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
