I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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