Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
