Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
