It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
