My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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