His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
