So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
