Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
