He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
