Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
