dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just pee around me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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