you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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