Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
