kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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