I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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