if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
