We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
